dreaming of kira

What I've Been Up to Lately

2010-11-16T14:09:00.000-10:00

To sum it up in three words: photography, school, sleep! A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to photograph my very fashionable friend, Alyssa of alyssa, ce soir! She agreed to let me photograph portraits on her, since I've been out of practice for far too long!

This past weekend, I spent most of my waking moments taking pictures for my friends' wedding! Wedding photographers Nohea Velasquez and Chris Runnells of Funkyhulagirl Photography finally got hitched themselves! They asked me a year ago if I would help out with taking photos of their wedding, and I agreed! It was a little bit nerve-wracking because I was taking wedding photos for wedding photographers, but it also made things a little bit easier because I got to use all of their camera equipment, hehe!

I'm still editing the photos, but once I'm done, I'll be sure to show you guys! :)

back on the big island

2010-10-18T20:26:00.000-10:00

I'm back on the Big Island with bobby pins falling out of my hair! Maui was great, although it's always a little weird being around my dad's family. We have nothing in common except relatives, and so we're supposed to all get along. It's kind of strange! But I had a lot of fun and ate a lot of food, and got to explore the island!

Now I'm trying to get back into the groove of school and work, which is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I'm so laaaazy!

I'm also trying to exercise more in order to look great in my Halloween costume and to get stronger for working with the trapeze. I'm usually a staunch hater of aerobic exercise, but it actually felt good to work up a sweat today!

I hope you all are well.

october brings halloween

2010-10-05T20:46:00.000-10:00

I can't believe it's already October! Time is flying by. I'm so excited for fall, because that means Christmas is coming! But that's a long ways away, so for now, I'm getting myself amped for Halloween. My boyfriend and I are going to go as steampunk pirates. My corset is in the mail, and we're working on making goggles and guns.

This weekend we are flying over to Mau'i for my paternal grandmother's funeral. She lived a long and wonderful life. She painted a beautiful painting of Mount St. Helen just weeks before it exploded, liked to do word searches, and had 5 great children.

It'll be neat to see all of my aunts and uncles in once place... I haven't even met my Uncle Craig. The Okamoto kids are just so spread out all over the continental U.S. - Washington, Oregon, Kentucky, Nevada... I'll finally get to see them all!

On a parting note, here is a photography by Eden Lee that completely took my breath away:

Things You Need to Be Listening To

2010-09-14T15:59:00.001-10:00

Doomtree - Doomtree, 2008.

The first official record by the entire Doomtree collective. If you haven't heard of Doomtree, allow me to educate you: they are a record label, yeah, but to me they are the best damn rap crew of this generation. None of that terrible new school brainless lyrics about getting drunk and dance clubs, no over-electronic beats, just talent, haunting lyrics, brilliant deliveries.

Dessa - A Badly Broken Code

Every track on this album is amazing, literary, intelligent, heartfelt. Her lyrics blow me away every single time I hear them. My favorite song jumps between Children's Work, Dixon's Girl, Mineshaft II and The Bullpen. Dessa puts all other female "rappers" to shame. (Honestly though, 90% of female rappers shouldn't even be taken seriously and/or allowed to call themselves hip-hop artists.)

Thank god for Dessa: "I found a steel ladder / Now your ceilings don't matter / Check me out, now I've got glass floors".

summer's over

2010-09-11T19:58:00.000-10:00

Well, summer's over and school has started! I'm only taking two classes this semester, Pre-Calculus and Aerial Dance II. It's great to be back up on the trap, flying and falling and spinning...

Here are the last of my summer photos. Although the heat is still on, I have to remind myself that summer is gone.

Also, there's an exciting development with my career... but I don't want to mention it yet in case it doesn't pan out. Just know that if it works, I'll be getting great photography experience!!

the music video!!!!

2010-08-09T17:22:00.000-10:00

Soft Vision Official Music Video from Anna Dobos on Vimeo.

The music video I'm in along with Natalie has finally been released! It's set to the song "Soft Vision" by UK artist Tropics, to coincide with the release of his Soft Vision EP! Directed, filmed, and edited by the amazing Anna Dobos!

I'm so excited. Please support me, Anna, Natalie, and Tropics by giving it a watch!!

my first time modeling

2010-08-01T19:51:00.000-10:00

As some of you may know through my friend Natalie's blog, I was recently involved in some very cool photography and video projects! I was a model for Anna Dobos, an incredibly talented photographer from my hometown. We went to the same high school, and I always admired and was envious of her work. Natalie and I starred in a music video (which hasn't been released yet!), and modeled in an impromptu photoshoot.

It was my first time doing "real" modeling work, which is something I've always wanted to do! Modeling is part of the reason I'm so drawn to photography - beautiful girls, beautiful close, beautiful make-up... I love it all! I've never tried modeling because I don't think I'm tall/pretty enough, but it was fun!

Here are some of my favorites from the photoshoot:

To see more of Anna's work, please visit her website, annadobos.com!

11 Beauty Products That May Be Ruining the Planet

2010-07-31T14:47:00.000-10:00

Found this great gem:

11 beauty products that may be ruining the planet on Mother Nature Network

Makes me glad I don't use half of that stuff! The highlights: lip balm, nail polish, sunscreen, shampoo, antibacterial soap... I've been considering going no 'poo for the past week or so, and I think I will! I'm not sure if I'll go cold turkey and stop shampooing altogether, or if I'll just go organic and sulfate-free. We'll see!

things to do this summer

2010-06-23T22:42:00.000-10:00

This may be a little late since summer's been going on for almost three weeks now, but I've been getting pretty lazy with all my free time, so I think a little bit of refocusing! So far this summer, I have been to a few barbecues, one bonfire, one going away party, and to the beach once. I'm also taking a beginner's ballet class, which I love, although I skipped class today to play computer games. And that right there is why I need to refocus! I can't spend this summer lazing away on the computer.

So, here is a list of things I'd like to do this summer:

collect more beach glass at Honoli'i
go camping in Waimanu
take photos of models
paint a few canvases
buy a bookshelf
buy a dining table
go to garage sales as often as I can
bake banana bread
visit my mom on Oahu
go shopping on Oahu
go to Green Sands
jump off the end of the world (aka the southern most point in the US)
go to a nude beach
go to a swimming pool after hours
go for a long bike ride
write a few songs with Jesse
write a song with my brother
sew... something (my sewing machine is just collecting dust!)
go to the library and borrow all those classics I never read
live more sustainably (I've gotten lazy and have been drinking out of water bottles again..)
write some handwritten letters (if you want one, leave me your mailing address!!)
start a garden
get a tattoo
visit Lana'i with Olin

What do you want to do this summer?

the other side of the lens

2010-06-21T20:59:00.003-10:00

The other day, I was on the opposite side of the lens! A good friend of mine, David, contacted me about an image he had in mind, and asked if I would be willing to model for him! I was, of course, because I secretly harbor fantasies about being a model. It was a little nerve-wracking, because I modeled topless, but it was a lot of fun, and I think the end images came out great!

You can see all of the photos on flickr here.

I hope you all are well! I'm enjoying my summer a lot.

summertime

2010-06-11T16:06:00.000-10:00

It's been a long time, blogspot! This semester has ended (with all A's, thankyouverymuch) and summer has started. I quit my retail job because I am morally opposed to the ethics that run retail (money first, people second - ugh) and now only work on a flower farm. I help harvest palm trees, ginger flowers, and am hoping to learn beekeeping. :)

Most of my days are spent with my neighbors who I have dubbed the Ohai family. This consists of my boyfriend, Olin, his brother, Lars, Lars's girlfriend, Echo (pictured above), and my roommate, Paxson. Echo's brother, Aidan, floats in and out of this picture.

Echo and Aidan are leaving soon for an adventure on the continental U.S. Aidan is moving to Wisconsin - as we speak, his car is being shipped to Portland, where he and Echo will fly in to greet it. Then they'll drive around until they arrive in Wisconsin; this should take about a month. I'm going to miss both of them greatly, but at least Echo is rolling on home to me when it's all over.

Right now I'm sore as hell from my first ballet class ever. I'm in love. I want to dance for the rest of my life.

a world so green it makes me cry

2010-04-20T22:57:00.001-10:00

Sometimes I forget that I live in paradise.

against my better judgement

2010-04-11T20:15:00.000-10:00

I went to a masquerade ball last night, despite being slightly sick and having called in on two days of work. The party was fantastic - champagne and masked ladies everywhere, but this morning I woke up with a gigantic cough and a fever.

Me & my roommate

Me & the boyfriend

Faux arrival

Now I'm hoping my 13 hours of sleep will help me get better and that my dance instructor will let me sit on tomorrow's class.

Oh - and when we got home last night at midnight, I suppose we were being noisy (for the first time in what - a year?), and our new neighbor came over to bitch at us, demand a cigarette, and tell us that "speed kills". What? Next time she can move her own damn dryer and buy her own damn cookie pans, because we're not being nice to her anymore!

life lately

2010-04-04T17:33:00.002-10:00

Life lately has been working in a mall, working on a farm, and going to school. I've been listening to songs of intermediate school (A Perfect Circle, old Muse, Our Lady Peace, 90's j-rock) and have been involved a perpetual battle against cat fur that involves almost daily vacuuming. I've been watching TV shows about alien abductions and taking photos of my cats.

My bank account is up to $1,497 dollars, and I just got another paycheck on Friday. This means my dream of attending an art university in Portland or Seattle is getting closer. It still seems so far away, like a dream that will never happen. I'm beginning to wonder if I even want to go at all.

I guess that's the way far off goals work.

does everyone hate work this much?

2010-03-19T14:24:00.000-10:00

I don't understand how people can go to work everyday, to work jobs that they only sort-of like, just because they need that paycheck. I'm having the hardest time doing it. I keep thinking I must be doing something wrong.

Tomorrow, I work a terrible, terrible, horrible split shift because I'm covering for a friend. The stress isn't worth it at all. I've been stressed out and unhappy since she asked me on Monday, and as sad as it is, it's been ruining my entire week. Does everyone dread work this much? Is it just me? Am I just doing something wrong?

Today is first complete day off in over two weeks. I'm trying not to let the thought of tomorrow's 10-1pm, 5-10pm work shift get me down. Tonight, I'm going to see my friend Echo perform in 9 Parts of Desire, then I'm going to revel in my wonderfully clean room, which was wonderfully cleaned by my wonderful boyfriend. He scrubbed the toilet and the sink, washed our sheets and our pillows (and the pillowcases!), and I'm so in love with him. He is so sweet. I can't wait to hang out with him once he gets done with work.

I'm going to try my hardest to pretend that tomorrow doesn't exist.

what i wish my life was like:

2010-03-18T14:16:00.002-10:00

Crisp colors and fluid motion and life in Tokyo.

Like a Revolving Door

2010-03-02T14:57:00.003-10:00

Heart feels sad. He’s tired of being a heart

and wants to be a lung. A lung never lacks

a sister or brother. He wants to be a finger.

A finger always has a family. Or a spleen

which only feels anger and is never sad.

Sometimes Heart feels joyous, beats with vigor.

But then the old stories resurface again:

hardship, cruelty, the Human Condition.

A kidney never faces these problems alone.

The eyes in unison devise a third dimension.

Not by being solo do the ears create stereo.

But Heart must turn outward for comradeship,

to seek another heart, a journey fraught

with uncertainty. Like a revolving door—

such is falling in and out of love. And

the betrayals! Heart needs only to consult

his book of broken hearts to feel pessimistic.

But soon he puts on a fresh shirt and heads out

to the highway. He hangs a red valentine heart

from a stick so people will guess his business.

No matter that the sun is sinking and storm-

clouds thicken. Approaching headlights glisten

on his newly pressed shirt and on his smile

which looks a trifle forced. Dust catches in his hair

and makes him cough. Why is Heart alone in the chest?

Because hope is an aspect of the single condition

and without hope, why move our feet? To see himself

as purely a fragment: such is Heart’s obligation.

Let’s quickly depart before we learn what happens.

Sometimes a car stops. Sometimes there is nothing.

--Stephen Dobyns

I hope you enjoyed this poem as much as I did.

not any longer

2010-02-23T13:05:00.002-10:00

There was a time when it seemed like our feet could take us wherever we wanted to go.

how are we so small?

2010-02-11T16:08:00.001-10:00

Tuesday and Thursday mornings, I wake up at 7:50, roll out of bed, sit on my porch in a t-shirt and panties to have a breakfast cigarette, brush my teeth, put up my hair, and drive to college. I sit in a classroom listening to a middle-aged German man lecture about the universe. He finds our introductory textbook so amusing - "the universe in one book", he says.

I learn about galaxies and gravity and Kepler and Corpernicus and Tycho Brahe. I learn about Galileo and Jupiter's moons and that there is no sound in space, not even a tiny bit. The Death Star should have exploded soundlessly.

How can this be?

How can there be asteroids colliding, planets forming, how can there be stars exploding without a sound? We are so small. We are all made of star stuff.

What was here before us? What will be here afterwords?

This universe is too enormous; my mind can barely understand it.

But sometimes when I'm hanging upside down on a trapeze and I am spinning with my eyes closed, I feel it. I am star stuff. There is an entire universe inside of me, floating and spinning soundlessly.

makoto miyata, 1950 - 2010

2010-01-08T15:27:00.002-10:00

My grandfather passed away last week. It wasn't very unexpected - his health has been deteriorating during the past few months. The funeral is in two weeks, on Oahu. My mom asked me to put together a collage for it, so I scanned in my favorite pictures from the ones she gave me to work with. I think you'll enjoy them, too!

My grandpa lived a great, full life, so don't feel sorry for me! Instead, help me celebrate the great life he lived.

My grandfather's senior picture.

My grandfather and grandmother.

Grandma and grandpa outside their old home.

My grandpa, grandma, and uncle.

Grandpa and my brother.

My grandpa and grandma a year or two ago.

break my arms

2009-12-27T17:27:00.001-10:00

I have your dreams and your teeth marks
All my fingernails are painted

fight fight, leukocytes!

2009-10-23T22:39:00.000-10:00

I'm fairly certain I'm coming down with a cold. (And we just covered the immune system in Biology yesterday.... go T-cells, go! Macrophages set to maximum cell-consumption! Fight fight fight!)

Anyway, here is me doing my 5-hang piece for my midterm. You can see me having trouble going into the hip hang, but really, most of the problem was created by my spotters. :( Oh well!

sailing around hilo bay

2009-10-20T13:06:00.000-10:00

I went sailing a few weeks ago with Mike Matthews and his sailboat, Astri. Then Olin and I went again on Sunday, just the three of us! We were out on the water for a few hours, getting sunburnt and enjoying ourselves. There was a bit of a mishap when Olin and Mike brought the boat in to the dock and tried to take down the mast. It came crashing down so loud that everyone froze in whatever they were doing. Scary! Fortunately, nothing was damaged, and no one got hurt. We managed to get the boat onto Mike's trailer without incident after that.

Mike was telling us his life story, and how wonderful sailing is. It only took him 29 days to sail from Anchorage, AK to Hawaii! And it was a 39 day trip from Hawaii to Australia! It kind of makes me want to buy a sailboat and travel around the world.

Meanwhile, in lame-land, I had an interview with Gamestop which went pretty well, and got a 90% on my Biology midterm. And in an hour, I'm going to be getting a much-needed haircut, huzzah!

yet, i'm never too lazy to whine

2009-10-04T17:41:00.002-10:00

I know I am a lazy person, and I will freely admit it, but when someone else calls me lazy, it's like a whole different story. It makes me get all defensive and try to argue how I am not lazy, but seriously guys, I'm fucking lazy. And easily overwhelmed. Which makes me act lazy, but it's really not me being lazy at all, it's just me being stressed and overwhelmed to the point where I don't want to do anything productive.

I have another Human Biology quiz coming up on Tuesday (seriously, Brezinsky? Didn't we just have a quiz a week ago?!), so I am studying for that. Kind of. I should be studying for that, but again, my easily overwhelmed and inherently lazy self has decided I would rather surf the internet and watch TV than study.

I'm also lazy (not overwhelmed) to go to trapeze tomorrow. Yes, it's fun once I'm there, but making myself get ready in the middle of the day, then fighting for parking, then ending up parking far away from campus and then having to walk to class, and THEN having to do 20 minutes of stretching/weigh exercises really puts a damper on my motivation to go. But I skipped class last week Wednesday, so I really ought to go this week.

Ugh. I also wish I could sort out what I'm going to use my 2 separate online journals for. I would link this blog to my friends/family, but I don't really have any friends/family that would be interested in reading it. And I have my paper journal which I would really rather use for writing about day-to-day stuff, but that's also kind of what I wanted to use THIS blog for. So I'm really at a loss of what to do here. I really want to post here more, but I never know what to write.

dropped out of reality

2009-09-24T16:48:00.000-10:00

So, I've been taking a little break from life. Olin and I have been housesitting my parent's place since Monday. They recently just bought a gigantic 52" LCD TV, so we've been making the most of that. We've also been taking advantage of the fact that we don't have to deal with roommates and their messes, and that this house has a bath tub! :) The two of us just barely fit in it.

I skipped my class today, too, so I could sleep in. All in all, it's been a nice vacation. It ends tomorrow, because Olin has to go back to work, so I'm not looking forward to that. I wish we could do this every week.

enough is enough is enough

2009-09-14T22:23:00.001-10:00

I'm not sure if it's will I lack, or confidence, or if it's just pure upper body strength, but I just can't get most of the hangs in aerial dance down. I can do my favorite, the back hang, which involves hanging by one knee and at least one hand, and to me looks beautiful. But I can't do the tear drop, or the straddle, and lest of all the inversion which involves holding your entire body weight up by your hands - like a hand stand, on a bar that's five feet off the ground.

I am so jealous of these other girls in my class who have never taken aerial before, but seem to have been born to work with the bar. This one girl, C, is everything I wish I was: tall, blonde, long and lean, and moves so gracefully and transitions between each hang and each pose with natural beauty, and she has never been on a trapeze before.

It's discouraging, to say the least.

I kind of want to drop the class, because even though I love the concept of aerial, and I love dance, and I love performing - I am really not that great at any of them. I just like to think I am. I fancy myself a dancer, but I'm not.

I don't really even mind the blisters I get from each class. I've got one on my right hand that popped two weeks ago, formed a scab, seemed to heal... but then burst open again the following week and bled a lot, and now, this week, has a blister forming UNDER that old blister. It's sore, but will hopefully turn into a nice, big, unattractive callous. And if it did, I wouldn't care... if I could get these damned hangs down.

I am tired, and am ready for winter break now. But I've got three months to go before I get a vacation.

places i want to go

2009-09-12T09:44:00.000-10:00

billy

2009-09-09T10:16:00.001-10:00

Last night as Olin and I drove into town, we came across an orange cat lying on the road. I stopped my car so we could move his body to the side, so he wouldn't be constantly run over. As we went to pick him up, he let out this horrible, gasping breath. I think I wailed and Olin rushed to wrap him in a blanket. We sped into town with the cat in Olin's lap, breathing steadily, but as if he had a lot of liquid or mucus in his throat. His tail moved a lot, which I thought meant he was awake.

We called my vet around 11:22, and he said that it sounded like the cat had suffered too much internal injuries and that the best he could do was sedate the cat, so he would feel no more pain until he died. I hesitated to bring him in, because I knew there was no hope for him. Since I didn't want to bother my vet, I decided to just take the cat home and make him comfortable until he passed.

But as we neared our house, the cat moved his head (which my vet said was a sign of being awake and concious) and tried to stand up. So after 20 minutes of horrible debate, we called my vet again, and then took him in. As we neared the vet, Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire" came on, and I thought Billy would be a good name for him.

Dr. Nagakura said that Billy had a torn diaphragm and was breathing through his stomach, which explained his shallow breathing. He also had a lot of swelling around his brain, and that pressure was what was causing his eyes to bulge out. He also said that Billy seemed to not be aware of anything that was going on, so that was good, in a way. After a sedation shot, Olin and I said goodnight to Billy, and the second shot stopped his heart.

We took Billy's body back home and by now it was 1am, but Olin dug a grave beneath our one bush in our yard, and we laid Billy to rest there.

I woke up this morning with a bad headache from so much crying, but I'll be okay. I hope Billy didn't feel much pain, and that somehow, he knew that there were people around him caring for him.

life is the same as it was

2009-09-07T09:39:00.001-10:00

So to make things simpler, I think I'll just use this as my formal blog for website updates and what not! My LiveJournal is still my personal and main journal... if you want in on that, let me know!

So, how are you guys, I am well. I'm just going to college and taking a trapeze class, and that's ridiculously awesome. I'm still trying to find a parttime job, sigh. Anyone wanna hire me?